2016 Pre-First Democratic Primary Debate Post

As most of us know, the first 2016 Democratic Primary Debate is tonight. Jim Webb, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, Martin O’Malley, and Lincoln Chafee will take the stage in Las Vegas at 8:30 p.m. ET to discuss the freebies platforms and talking points which the Progressive/Socialist Party thinks are important to American citizens.

I, like most bloggers and journalists, have been wondering what questions they will be asked. Will CNN pitch softballs, fastballs, or curveballs? Will they pit candidates against each other, especially against the front-runner Clinton as they did with the Republican candidates against Donald Trump in the second Republican Debate?

Here are my guesses on a few of the topics that might be discussed (in no particular order):

1. Abortion and Planned Parenthood. Not because CNN and the candidates care about the lives of the unborn, nor because they care whether or not PP has been selling off baby parts to the highest bidder. But because ensuring that women have the “right” to kill babies and having federal funding for killing the babies seems to be a really big important thing to progressives. We are sure to hear how women are being denied access to birth control by not handing it out for free. Think a moderator will point out that Obamacare took care of that freebie? Nah. I’m guessing they will also mutilate the definitions of “reproductive rights” and “women’s health” while they casually discuss the mutilation of the babies.

2. Black Lives Matter Movement. Which of these snowy-old-white-rich oppressors will throw their fists in the air and condone the looting and burning of our cities as a form of protest? I hope their talking points don’t include the words “all lives matter” because we’ve seen how well that goes over with the BLM crowd. Also, it contradicts their previously-stated abortion stance.

3. Equal Rights for Women and the Wage Gap. These are my personal favorites. I’ve been hearing murmurs that if Clinton is elected, then maybe we can finally get the Equal Rights Amendment ratified to the Constitution, and maybe, just maybe, we can close the wage gap between the XXs and the XYs. I especially like hearing wealthy women who’ve held high ranking offices such as Secretary of State try to argue that women don’t already have equal rights in America. Newsflash! We already have an equal rights amendment! It’s called the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which outlawed discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. And we already have a law concerning equal pay among the genders. That’s called the Equal Pay Act of 1963. We don’t need more laws stating the exact same things.

4. Foreign Policy. Iran Deal. Hmmmm. I hope these will make the debate, but I honestly have no clue if they will.

5. Free College for Everybodies!

6. Voting Rights. You can bet that we will hear about how voting is a right so we shouldn’t need identification to vote.

7. And that leads us to…GUNS! If we don’t need identification to vote because it’s a right, then why do we need identification and background checks to own a gun? Since it’s a right and all. Ha! Just kidding. That part won’t be addressed. But if adding more laws, which criminals don’t follow anyway, to the already mountainous amount of restrictive gun laws doesn’t make the debate, I’ll be shocked.

So what do you think will be debated tonight?

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